In law, we've always ruled in favor of gender stereotypes. The girl is always blameless in a statutory rape case, the man brings home the bacon, the woman does the laundry, etc.
We've all seen it and experienced it. We've all heard of stories in which someone has crossed the boundaries of fidelity and cheated, or maybe even been through this ourselves. Point it, monogamy is safe. It's safe and accepted in our society. Anything that challenges this staple relationship is considered "queer." Think about that. Something that defies the nature of monogamy/standard nuclear family is considered "queer," which contains the alternate definition of "strange; odd." Isn't there something strange or odd about that definition, to begin with?
Monogamy is important because everything that doesn't fall under its tenets can be defined relative to home base. We believe that a man and a woman engaged in a monogamous relationship are able focus on raising their kids and working honestly without the taint of adultery or polygamy. This may be true, or may not be true, but one thing is for sure: Monogamy is within the law and within our mindsets as the "natural" and "normal" way to live. Anything challenging the gender or sexual roles of this practice lies in the penumbra of American values and takes us to a place we are uncomfortable to think about. That's just the way it has always been.
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ReplyDeleteI think your post brings up a really important point that Califia mentioned in her introduction to Macho Sluts: our society doesn't acknowledge any neutral differences with regard to sexuality. Beyond certain guys liking blonde girls and others liking brunettes, we don't accept variations in sexual preferences; people are either normal (heteronormative) or deviant (queer). In other words, there is monogamy... and then everything else. Which is, as you say, why monogamy is so important to investigate.
ReplyDeleteYou discuss some very interesting points! I really agree that movies and television influence our perceptions of normality and "what is right." We have always seen monogamy couples as the ideal in America and it is hard to guess what our society would be like if that were not the case. One topic that I found interesting in the argument was that "the girl is always blameless in a statutory rape case." I guess the first thing that popped into my head was the female teacher who was convicted because she raped her younger male student. Although I do understand your point, maybe it is possible that our legal system does actually fight against the stereotypes (and for justice) but our media does not. That is why the majority our the cases we hear are incidents where the girl takes no blame.
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