Protecting Paternity

Monogamy is a social constructed idea created by men to protect their economic interests.

It is actually more “biologically beneficial” for human beings to pursue multiple sexual relationships. I’ll provide a hypothetical situation to explain: say we were operating in the animal kingdom instead of in a civilized society. In the animal world, the men who pursue multiple sexual relationships can impregnate more women, thus continuing to share their genes with the world through their extensive lineage. The women who pursue multiple sexual relationships can only give birth to one child at a time. However, they can mislead their male sexual partners into thinking that the child is theirs and thus have multiple caretakers for one child, increasing their child’s ability to survive.

Men created the notion of monogamy to protect themselves from the sexual freedom of women. What man would want to take care of a child that isn’t his? Friedrich Engels writes in “The Origin of Family, Private Property, and the State”: “The rule of the man in the family, the procreation of children who could only be his, destined to be the heirs of his wealth-these alone were avowed as the exclusive aims of monogamy” (739). Men created the idea of female monogamy to ensure the paternity of their offspring and to ensure the protection of their wealth. This was the social function of monogamy.

In the present day, we take monogamous relationships for granted. We don’t challenge the origins or benefits of monogamy. We simply accept that monogamous relationships are the ultimate goal all of all dating experiences because monogamous relationships are the “normal” and “moral” relationships we see on TV. If a boy and a girl are committed to each other, it’s “sweet” and “cute”. If a boy sleeps around with people, he’s a “douche” or a “player”. If a girl sleeps around with people, she’s a “slut”. There are judgments that are made about people who do not conform to normative standards for monogamy. Yet these judgments are made without even considering the reasons for why people are in monogamous relationships in the first place.

Since monogamy was created to protect paternity and familial lineage, what impact does this notion have on queer relationships where reproduction is not the end result? Monogamy was created to protect reproductive ownership. Does that mean it does not apply to homosexual couples?

Most people, regardless of their sexual preference, desire to be in a monogamous relationship because it is the “normal” relationship we are taught to appreciate by our peers, by contemporary media, by our own parents. And we see that others are judged and punished when they don’t conform.