What exactly is monogamy? Look no further than George Michael’s 1987 hit, “I Want Your Sex” to find out! The music video, which Michael used to emphasize his monogamous relationship with his girlfriend at the time, includes Michael writing the words “explore” and “monogamy” on his girlfriend’s back.
Here’s a link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vldh7oQD-a4#t=178s
As George Michael proves, monogamy is an issue that faces everyone, whether working class or famous artist. When establishing a relationship, one of the first unspoken rules is that as soon as it becomes “official,” it is monogamous.
But why do we have this unspoken rule? I believe that it is because monogamous can foster a deep closeness between just the two individuals themselves. Personally, when two individuals know that the commitment is between only each other, then they can develop a relationship that is closer and more trustworthy than a polygamous relationship. As for socially, our society places the most benefit on having one match for each person, meaning that the norm for relationships in monogamous. In this way, a family can be created, and society can move forward – there is no jealousy, no worrying, supposedly only happiness.
We value it because we enjoy being the most important thing in another’s life. With monogamy, there is no sharing. When a relationship is solely between the two partners, there is no doubt about the love that they share.
However, monogamy also plays a role in defining a gender binary. With a relationship only between two people, one person tends to play the role of the male and the other plays the role of the female, despite whether the relationship is heterosexual, homosexual, or something else entirely. This reinforces both the heteronormative relationship as being what is normal.
Countless songs use the theme of love in the music world. And normally, this love is between two people, such as the artist and the person the song is about. Is this “normal” monogamy a bad thing? While it may strengthen those binaries in gender and sexuality, it also makes a relationship stronger. Perhaps certain societal norms aren’t that bad after all. :)
I think what you're saying about monogamy in our culture is indubitably true. But when we look at what monogamy does for gender I think you should focus on the counter argument as well. Since you say that monogamy plays a role in shaping a gender binary, do you think that this binary would exist is monogamy wasn't present? To what degree would it be different?
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