It's A Multiple Partner World After All

“We are meant to be polygamous” he says.

Alright, not what every teenage girl wants to hear, but then again, I take everything my he says with a grain of salt. However, he might have a point. I’m not going all mormon on everyone, but I will say that monogamy fails in fifty percent of situations. Statistics. I don’t buy them either. Am I going back and forth here yes, but I’ll get to my point eventually just bear with me.

I watched my parents practice a monogamous relationship for 16 years. Imagine knowing someone since you were 18, and feeling comfortable enough to cuddle up with them close at night or ask them to do anything for you. After hearing about my best friends newest relationship, and how intimate they have become, I imagine that at one point, my parents were like that. Monogamy values comfort in its beginning stages; we slowly break our shells and learn that this partner we have taken into our lives is willing to accept our faults, as well as our strengths. Monogamy takes comfort to a new level outside the home as well. It gives you someone to go out with; you don’t have to eat alone at an empty table, pretending to have conversation with the ghost sitting across from you in the diner booth. You don’t have to make small talk with the stranger at the Starbucks, just to brighten your day. You always know you have Bob or Joe, sitting at home waiting for you.

However slowly monogamy begins to change a relationship. In some marriages, especially ones that end in divorce, there are situations where polygamy, having more than one partner, is appealing to a man. The man at the beginning of the blog post cheated on his wife. Monogamy, for me at least, works for a while. It has many personal and social functions, however ultimately, one party begins to get bored, to grow in a different direction, or become uncomfortable in the relationship. It changes the partners; tires them out and drives them to do things they might not have done in the past. For this man, he became attracted to younger women who were more sexually stimulating. All the while, during his affairs, the woman sat at home taking care of the children. Incredibly demeaning to the woman he pushed her away in place of a newer version of herself. He truly did not believe in sexual equality, especially in marriage. For many men, monogamy means discrete polygamy. For all I know, this man could have been having extramarital affairs with other men. Polygamy changes sexuality and gender orientation; it provides for more freedom, while monogamy limits through comfort. However, for the woman in the relationship, she was stifled. However, once free of her marriage, she began to find new people and a newfound confidence in herself. Maybe we are meant to have multiple partners after all.