Running from my Problems

In my sophomore year in high school, I ran cross-country. The funny thing about cross country is that it’s a co-ed high school sport which basically don’t exist. We trained with the girls everyday. To make matters worse, I was a terrible runner, which basically meant I would get beat by multiple girls everyday in training which I didn’t mind but all my friends thought it was hilarious. After every practice I would sit on the bus and listen to my friends make fun of my running abilities and ultimately the fact that I was less athletic than a girl. So basically, I was uncomfortable with my gender because men, as defined by society, are supposed to be better than all women at sports, which obviously I was not. The worst part was that I actually felt bad about it and thought in many ways that I was a failure and that it reflected on my character as a person. Looking back on it, I wish I had embraced it but instead I let it get to my head and quit cross country the next year. I guess my story is a significant story about my gender and my sex, because it is an example of how my perception of my self was completely changed by the people around me, and how my perception of my manliness was the result of a societal mode of thinking and a stereotype. I wish I had kept running but I guess in this case the story works better with a failure. It showed the power of other people’s perceptions and how it can make me quit something I liked doing simply because I was scared of being called girly.