They Can't Make Us

The heroines in the literature we have read this semester have truly inspired me. They are the essence of “good girls gone bad”. The character that I will never forget is Jess Goldberg from Stone Butch Blues. Hir courage, audacity, and her treacherous, heartbreaking path to the public embrace of hir sexual identity inspired me to write this song.

The song’s title, They Can’t Make Us, is a play on the word “make”. The first meaning I want to convey is that society, our parents, and our teachers can’t make us or force us to perform a gender/sexual role that we don’t feel comfortable performing. My reading of Judith Butler’s theories on performativity inspired this first meaning. The second meaning I want to convey is that social labels and sexual norms can’t make us or create/build us into an identity that we haven’t built on our own individual terms.

The song also plays with the significance of gender pronouns. The “they” I refer to in the chorus and refrain refers to the pressures of society and of our parents. The “you” I refer to represents the self that the “I” sees in the mirror (I was inspired by Lacan’s writings). This is really a love song to one’s idealized self. The “you” is the sexually confident, self-aware individual that the I wishes to become. In the coda, there is a particular line: “You me us not him or her” that is significant to the theme of the song. With this line, the “I” is declaring that socialized normative gender labels do not matter when you find and embrace your self and your community. Jess Goldberg’s final public declaration of hir sexual identity to a community of LGBT peers inspired me to write this particular coda.

“Love me hate me just don’t label me. Take me break me but they can’t make me.” This is my favorite part of the chorus because it summarizes the attitude towards normative standards of sexuality that I have now developed as a result of my experiences with this class. To me, it doesn’t matter what other people think about my actions and my gender performance and sexuality. They can love it or hate it. But it doesn’t matter to me because I own my self and my body. Though my search for identity is only beginning, I know I will embrace who ever I find at the end of the journey.

Check out the song! If my mouth isn't matching up with the audio that's because I don't have fancy shmancy recording equipment. Here's the insider scoop on the recording process for a girl on a college student budget: I basically had to use my mac to record my piano part first, then record my voice, then record my guitar...then I had to use garage band to sync all of the parts together neatly...then I recorded this video of me singing the song and playing the guitar part! I mashed it all up together and it came together somehow! (what would I do without modern technology?)

Here's the link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuhVVVTNk7k

Here are the lyrics and chords for They Can't Make Us:

They Can’t Make Us

C Am G D Dm

I don’t love who they want me to love

I don’t look how they want me to look

I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be here

With all of these judgmental eyes and all of their lies

You love who you want to love

You look how you want to look

You feel like you really belong

Between all these loving smiles and rainbow skies

Love me hate me

Just don’t label me

Take me break me

But they can’t make me

They tell me I can’t fuck my way to freedom

But I ‘m still gonna try

Not gonna keep living a lie

C Am G D F

I don’t care when they see us together

I don’t mind when they call us names

Butch, dyke, lover, friend it’s all the same

Between all these judgmental eyes and rainbow skies

With you, I love who I want to love

With you, I look how I want to look

With you, I feel like I’m supposed to be here

Between your loving smile and your forgiving eyes

You me us

Not him or her

Love hate pain

They’ll drive me insane

I want us to break me

I want us to take me

I want us to make me whole…

Love us hate us

Just don’t label us

Take us break us

But they can’t make us

They tell us we can’t fuck our way to freedom

But we’re still gonna try

Refuse to keep living a lie