There's monogamy, and then there's everything else: "crimes, sins, diseases, and mistakes"

I found Califia's introduction to Macho Sluts an incredibly astute rundown of our society's collective attitude toward sexuality. Her observation that "our culture insists on sexual unformity and does not acknowledge any neutral differences-- only crimes, sins, diseases, and mistakes" (9) is absolutely correct. Granted, in recent years we have theoretically begun to accept and be comfortable with differing sexual preferences (hello, gay marriage), but even then, we are very specific with what sort of "deviance" is accepted; after all, monogamy is still the celebrated ideal-- no matter how problematic and virtually impossible it proves, time and time again, to be-- and homosexuality is really only socially acceptable within that narrow framework.

Though our generation's polyamorous behavior in places like the Row might seem to argue otherwise, I believe we live in a society where monogamy is valued above all else. Sure, divorce rates are high and extramarital affairs are commonplace, but despite all that I think our society places a lot of value on the search for your "other half," with whom you can blissfully spend your life. With that in mind, polyamorous behavior in young adulthood (see: the Row, as mentioned before) can perhaps be seen as pre-monogamy, in which experimentation is permitted, but only if the person experimenting is seen as being "on the way" to monogamous partnership. If someone, particularly a woman, continues polyamory into mature adulthood, then it is seen as a serious problem (a "crime," "sin," "disease," or "mistake") which requires fixing. In this way, I believe Califia was absolutely right in pointing out the problem of "no neutral [sexual] differences," particularly in regards to monogamy versus everything else.