Where do I fall?

While, by definition, sex is a biological trait that describes an individual as male, female, or hermaphroditic, the idea of gender deals with the question “What does it mean to be so?” Answers come from cultural constructions as well as personal preferences. Gender norms are definitions of socially acceptable personalities: individuals of the female sex are held to standards of femininity, archaically defined by domesticity, submissiveness, and fragility. Beyond the prescriptive, however, gender is also expression. Whether it is an inexplicable internal compulsion or a conscious choice, gender is the external manifestation of an individual’s own identity. Sexuality often arises as part of this discussion, but should not be confused with gender identity. Although the two may be linked in some profound way, gender identifies the self, while sexuality identifies the other—specifically as an object of love and attraction. Gender exists on a conceptual spectrum of masculine to feminine, and while the extremes may be clear, the middle is often fuzzy and elusive.

I try to avoid putting myself in any sort of box that constrains me to be any prescriptive ratio of feminine and masculine . Although I select female on surveys and standardized tests, I prefer to think of myself—and others—as simply neutral. My gender is the aggregate of all the qualities I adopt, regardless of who typically claims them. I want to be sensitive and strong; I want to feel cared for by a man and care for him equally in return; I want to follow those wiser than me and lead those less experienced. But most of all I want to be defined by the traits I chose to nurture in myself—not the fact that I am anatomically a woman.